Yo, I got a story to tell..
go ahead and tell it
alright I think that I will

Just the other day I was walking down the street
When this dude started looking at my own two feet
He started licking his lips, and thrusting his hips
So I said a little line ‘went something like this

‘Array do kola! Kee’n o’maki phen k’ell!
And a hole appeared that took him to the 3rd layer of hell
So i started thinking, yo! The seems pretty swell
I’m like bilbo in the two towers when he casted that spell

Yo, I’m ‘gonna stop you right there to clear up a few facts
Bilbo’s got the ring, but other than that he’s got jack
And in the two towers?? ‘bruh he aint there, that’s a fact
that boy chilling back in the shire while he pounding some cat

If i had to guess what kind of cat bilbo likes fucking
it’d probably be fat as hell and look like a mc muffin
When it comes to ring facts you better watch where you going
cause i got the game on lock from forodwaith all the way to rohan

Yo watch who you step to when it comes to middle earth
Smoking’ ent like a pimp, getting lit, gollums turnt
When people yell at me. they yelling’, telling me i’m lame
i tell them how the misty mountains got their damn name

Oh yeah, back to the story i was telling before
So the dude got sucked up into the portal in the floor
he started screaming while demons started licking on his toes
cause you know sometimes that the way that it goes

Yo that’s a pretty cool story, now let’s get back to the goods
cause i got more middle earth fact then anybody in my hood

I thought we were done talking about J.R.R Tolkien
but i guess asking that much of u is really just a pipe dream

Yeah pipe dream like gandalf when he getting high
he sending little magic rings all up in the sky
it makes me cry when i read it cause the imagery is beautiful
wish that i could visit not in dreams that would be magical
i cry every night because it’s a world i can only read
committing suicide just to try to reincarnate there is what i need

I think you’re going a bit far

it’s a far ride to mordor

are you medicated

no but i should be

If i had to say my favorite character i think it’d be gimli, he got moves
i mean of course not literally, he’s tiny, and his stomach protrudes

If i had to say mine it would be bilbo baggins
aint no other hobbit got the balls for stealing from dragons

Yo i wish i was a wizard so i could cast a few spells on chicks
got my wand in the air while the wenches suck my dicks
yeah dicks you heard right i made that shit plural
magic can make anything happen, i could be a squirrel

Yo we talking bout squirrels?
I wish i could be one
hopping from tree to tree
shooting other squirrels with my meat gun

Yo being a squirrel would be great
I’d love to have that tail
but you know what i would like more
is to be a blue whale

Yo whales live underwater where there’s sharks and shit
not to mention that the ocean is all just fish spit
when it comes to being animals that where i quit
got that thick moby dick and that’s where bitches sit

I really like rhinos cause theyre keeping me humble

and i really like bees cause i love when they bumble

i really like trees cause they give us our air

and i really like the arctic with that big polar bear

Yo i love polar bears

cool that makes two

It’s just a shame the next generation can’t see them too

The temperature in our atmosphere is getting too hot

and the polar bears can’t live when the seas rise a lot

Yo that’s fucked up
think i’m about to cry

Think of how the bears feel
when they look at their lives
floating around ontop of ice all day
they’re like “man why won’t these sea levels just stay”

Yo i don’t wish i was a polar bear cause then my children would all die
when the seas got too high and that would make me cry
infact i’m getting sad just thinking bout that
so let’s get back to the topic at hand

Yo if I could fuck one middle earth guy
I'd be double teamed by pippin and marry let them pry
My little hill hole till its stretched and bloody back in hobbiton
I'd let them cum inside and have a little hobbit son

Yo we got the facts about middle earth chilling
In my brain will knowledge you know I be filling
I'm not a fan of violence so I wish there was less killing
And that's why sauron is the number one villain